tomorrow.

'i remembered him and i felt his presence in my existence.  he was my secret, tomorrow and always.  i’m mad i ever had to share him with the world.  nothing made sense unless i saw it through his eyes.  but through his eyes was the only way i wanted to witness the world.  colors exploded across the sky, and a symphony of sounds came together to be the soundtrack to my life.  and lowly in the background i could always hear him whisper.  i am you.  you are me.  tripping into a tomorrow that we would never actually hold.  but my heart beats of you, and the fabric of my life will forever drape its soft surroundings, keeping me safe beneath the sun, moon and stars.' 

- a little excerpt from a project near and dear to me

up.

left.  right.  left.  right.  left.  right. 

up. 

wait what?  

up, look up.  pause.  stop.  breathe.  sigh.  

routines die hard, and love takes time.   but i promise it's worth it.  embrace the anxiety as it comes and goes as it pleases.  love the moments that make no sense.  find hope in nothing but the fact that the sun rose today, and the moon will follow.  soak up the energy of the touch of another human's arms wrapped around you, it's a reflection of His grace.  nothing is by accident, and together we make one picture.  sometimes we need to slow down and gain perspective.  we get so focused on what is right in front of us.  expand your mind, challenge yourself to look at it from an aerial view.  

whoa.  it looks so different.  

if you do these things, which only take moments, you will find the freedom to choose.  choose whatever it is you want to feel, wherever it is you want to go, whoever it is you want to see.  life is beautiful, even if sometimes it's too dark to see it.  if you can't do it for you, be the star to light the way for someone else... in doing so you'll also find yourself. 

remember this.

memories move and manipulate this man made reality.  

to remember - or more accurately misremember - the events that, i would say, have shaped me and my life.  but i feel okay about it, because my memories are my own and they are there to serve me. 

there are memories burned so deeply into my consciousness i can remember every detail everyday... the way it smelled, how he looked, the way it felt the first time he ran his fingers over my face, the shock of electricity that trickled through my body when his lips touched mine.  

and there are other moments that people tell me i was there for that i can't remember my own existence.  

life is a journey, a collection of things, of moments and from that collection we make memories.  and when we look back and watch the pictures replay in our minds we can enjoy each moment again as if it's new.  because as we play it back, we have learned and grown and changed and nothing is ever the same twice.  

be a witness to your own life.  enjoy each kiss like it's the first time, because really... it is.