i wonder.

i didn't know that missing you would feel the same as losing you.  as i replay each memory in my mind, i wonder if it was as beautiful as i've remembered it to be. as each hour passes i feel like i'm slipping further and further into the back of your brain and i'm worried you won't recognize me the next time i see you.  i find myself typing texts and then deleting them over and over again.  insecurity's ugly face flaunts herself in front of me.  but when i finally slip off to sleep i find i am smiling as i faintly hear your voice whisper "how lucky am i?"  and just like that i'm falling all over again for a boy who i'm not sure wants me to love him.  but i won't deny myself the wonder of what could be.  so as you travel around the world picking up pieces of yourself, don't forget you also carry a piece of me, and i hope that makes you smile.  i really can't wait to hear your laugh, i think that's what i miss the most.