the nook.

you know why falling in love is so scary and amazing at the same time?  it happens really fast and all at once.  before my brain has time to say no, before my heart can decipher what it's feeling i utterly and completely fall head over heels into love land.  i trip and tumble into a pink haze of bliss where the sun always shines and the blue silky sky is an endless abyss of hope and possibility -- when all of a sudden lightening bolts of reality rip through the night.  i'm crashing down to earth and gaining speed.  the cotton candy clouds and rainbow roads begin to fall off into the distance.  the speck of ground that was so far away is becoming clearer and the free fall feeling of joy becomes one of panic.  i go to pull the rip cord, but of course i was in such a hurry to love you that i forgot to put on my parachute.  "oh (insert exclamation)"  as the vibrantly green grass grows nearer, it's surely to be the end of me.  i shoot up and can't catch my breath.  ah, just a dream, as my hands reach around the bed frantically searching for something real to hold on to.  a nervous giggle erupts finding its way into the still room.  my hand finds the warmth of you and latches on.  "so it is real?"  the morning mind fog hangs heavy in my head.  before there's time to figure it out i retract to the nook.  that one spot where i always fit just right.  it's the stillness i crave.  not the excitement and the chaos, but that place where i find peace and feel safe enough to drift back to dreamland.  that really honest place between sleep and awake, unadulterated by my own thoughts where i only have that feeling in my gut that says "yes."  so that's why love is so scary and amazing at the same time.  it's involuntary and all consuming.  it doesn't make any sense, and changes in an instant.  it's unpredictable, and even volatile at times, but it's the thing that designs my dreams and the moments that make up my life.