a respect.

respect is a funny thing.  the tenderness of a heart is easily hardened over time.  words lash out that tear deep gashes right through the center.  it takes time to heal.  nursing it carefully, with a prayer that it returns to as good as new.  it seems that all i ask in life is to be respected.  it seems so simple, yet it also tends to be the tallest order i can ask for.  when i'm wounded i set high expectations.  i feel vulnerable and exposed.  i wish with all my might that someone notice my bleeding heart.  i inspect the damage and a faint scar glistens against the light.  it's a reminder of the pain i once suffered.  i walk the world once again, to be greeted by another disappointment... eventually.  and the cycle goes on, and on, and on, and on.  i find comfort in the routine.  someone who cares enough to point it out, reminds me that it doesn't have to be that way.  respect.  if i expect respect, it appears that i have to always be willing to offer it.  to love and honor any who cross my path.  sometimes i find it the most difficult task i could ever be asked to complete.  yet, the satisfaction of loving someone who needs it more than myself is the highest reward i could ever receive.  i choose love. 

the big picture.

the big picture is always slightly out of focus.  i often find myself staring off into the future trying to make out what is in front of me.  a heavy haze settles begrudgingly in front of my eyes obscuring my vision.  the clear picture is always floating a little too far away.  having faith that i'm moving in the right direction, and doing all that i can is what pushes me forward and through the tough days.  i reach out in an attempt to catch my future, and my fingertips lightly brush something and i swear my dreams have materialized.  when anxiety waltzes into my life, i take a deep breath and slow things down.  i close my eyes.  i smile.  i inhale a fresh start.  when the heart is involved with each decision, and each step forward there is no possibility for error.  there is no wrong.  it's the beauty of falling in love with life.  it's the spectacular event of discovering a passion that drives you to get up in the mornings.  i have learned to love who i am, and also what i do.  i am the best i know how to be, and with each day work to be a little bit better.  i know that with dedication, time, and love my dreams will be nurtured into realities.  it's this internal faith, this undying devotion to expression that allows me to put my heart on the line. 

life's challenge.

life is short.  at birth we are forced to take a breath that kickstarts an adventure that is ours alone.  we grow.  we learn.  we feel.  it's inevitable.  as a child, we feel the days dwindle on as if they'll never end.  as we age, we begin to feel the minutes slipping away faster and faster.  we categorize and distinguish the different phases in our lives with memories or moments that commit themselves to long term memory, that take up space in our mental hard drives that can never be erased.  we begin to define ourselves by our accomplishment, or worse our failures.  we begin to let the clutter of life blind us from the truth of it all.  sometimes we can't explain our tears.  when we lose a loved one, an earthquake breaks the comfort we're used to walking on.  we try to take a step forward and we find our feet greeted by nothing.  we begin to fall, plunging quickly.  not sure where we're headed, we lash our or grasp on to anything we can find that may help us regain consciousness.  when we've hit the bottom we look up at the tall mountain of grief that we have to overcome.  each step up slices to the core.  it's in these moments that we're challenged to be our best selves.  darkness is always an option.  giving up is easiest when we feel like we don't have the strength to keep going.  people who don't love you will allow such behavior, and justify our actions for us.  it's our integrity that pushes us to find the light in another day.  in the end, it's relationships.  it's love.  time is so precious.  loss is the most painful, earth shattering experience we are asked to withstand.  it's the most motivating and inspiring occurrence that can reprogram our eyes to see life in a brand new, beautiful way.  it opens our hearts to experiencing all that we're capable of.  each day is a choice, a challenge, to live up to our potential.  life is a commitment to being our best selves.  to sharing life with others, and not taking a moment for granted.  we are so blessed with opportunities, life is fragile and precious.  life is a miracle. 




-- this post was inspired by a man i never had the opportunity to meet, but has touched my life in a wonderful way.  thank you for sharing your art and light with the world. thank you to Scott Haze for sharing the anniversary of your friend Brad Renfro with me today.  his presence in our lives is a beautiful thing, and will never be forgotten.  

a breath.

a breath starts with an inhale.  it plunges down into the depths of your belly and stirs life amongst the pool of life waiting to be utilized.  without breath this life source sits vacant awaiting its turn to inject creativity into your day.  a breath provokes sound.  an animalistic instinct takes place as you close your eyes and give yourself over to the energy coursing through your body.  a sound you hardly recognize as your own escapes your lips and you feel relief begin to settle into your muscles.  the power is in the exhale.  as waste is expelled out into the air, new life begins to birth itself into your being.  the possibilities for life become endless.  it's vital to reconnect the mind and body with the fluidity of breath.  every morning as the sun warms the skin, stretch and move and encourage each muscle to reach a little bit further.  by loving and nurturing our bodies we create a sanctuary of hope.  the body becomes our creative vessel, providing a vehicle toward our dreams.