room to room.

i occupy the space we call home, filled with all the memories of things i love, yet i feel alone.  i walk from room to room trying to remember why all of these things mattered so much, but instead i feel as though i am navigating a painful present that i don't quite know how to deal with.  i flip through my phone and find photos of us and i look happy, yet somehow it feels like such a distant reality.  a reality i bare witness to but don't internalize as my own.  i'm waiting for the film to run out or the lights to flicker to let me in on the sad joke that this is all for naught.  but that day has yet to come.  so the shift has to satisfy the need to want more and know that it's destined to be what it will be.  there are so many things i want to do, and so many places i want to see... but the truth is i only want it with you.  so as i walk room to room reminiscing i am reminded i'm in love.  that in and of itself is a reason to keep pacing.   

weight of the world.

the weight of the world is a lot to bare.  as i look out into the onslaught of human robots rummaging on their phones and floating from one passing moment to the next it grows heavier and heavier.  everyone is so lost in their digital desires that they fail to confront the fleeting moments that are not slowing down for you, or anyone else.  we are fed headlines and false facts and expected to make rational decisions yet no one lives in a present reality.  it's no wonder the children with beautiful imagination are trying to break down the barricades that protect out futile facade.  the weight of the world is a lot to bare... if you're doing it alone.  so as we watch each other crumble under the immense pressure, let's acknowledge we matter and try to change the tide of selfishness before it's too late. 

silently.

i have spent so many nights silently sobbing.  there's something that feels too intrusive, or possibly even rude, to disrupt the peace that flows so freely when the rest of the world is quiet.  it takes every ounce of will power to imprison the never ending thoughts that threaten to escape and cause a cacophony of echoes as the words bounce off of the bare walls.  surely the building will quake and the world will know, and that is when i'll be embarrassed of the very vulnerable position i have found myself in.  i dream of a world without suffering, but that's not the human experience.  so as we do our best to brandish a smile and pretend all is well, remember that the world spares no one and maybe your pain is exactly what someone else needs to know they're never alone.