room to room.

i occupy the space we call home, filled with all the memories of things i love, yet i feel alone.  i walk from room to room trying to remember why all of these things mattered so much, but instead i feel as though i am navigating a painful present that i don't quite know how to deal with.  i flip through my phone and find photos of us and i look happy, yet somehow it feels like such a distant reality.  a reality i bare witness to but don't internalize as my own.  i'm waiting for the film to run out or the lights to flicker to let me in on the sad joke that this is all for naught.  but that day has yet to come.  so the shift has to satisfy the need to want more and know that it's destined to be what it will be.  there are so many things i want to do, and so many places i want to see... but the truth is i only want it with you.  so as i walk room to room reminiscing i am reminded i'm in love.  that in and of itself is a reason to keep pacing.